Z is for: Zenoni, And How Did Miss Zenoni End Up Here

Z is for:  Zenoni
And How Did Miss Zenoni End Up Here

        Oftentimes, I wonder, “Miss Zenoni…How did you end up here?”  It’s certainly not a Yes/No answer; it’s rhetorical beyond compare.  I found a poem I wrote to myself the other day, and not to show my age, but it was located in a box of priceless lucid & lyrical memories (i.e., a box of albums…the Police to be exact). 

Something to Toast to:   
The Men of My Life

May, 1985

(Which predates my marriage, children, divorce, and other tails…oops I mean tales)

Here’s to my brother, Steve:

Who told me…

I was an L7.  

The L stood for Leslie; the 7 stood for the date I was born, and if you put them both together, they form a rectangle

 

And that was close enough to square for him.

Here’s to Joe Garmo:

Who told me…

I’d never have to worry in life.

I’d never make it into full “bitch-dom”;

I’d always be nothing more than a “bitch-trainie”.

Here’s to Johnnie Garmo:

Who told me…

I should always look after and take care of A #1…

And that was him.

Now go out there in the world and hold your head up high.

Here’s to My First Love, “Good Time Charlie”:

Who flew me…

to the moon and took me on trips above the mile high stars.

And told me…

that he loved and respected me more than his wife.

Here’s to Randy “Hi-Ho” Silvers:

Who told me…

He believed in love and loyalty and fidelity

And his dog, Harpo, came with us on every single date.

Here’s to “My Pal Al” aka the “Alley Cat”:

Who told me…

That I was “fat, boring, and I ran my life like a tight ship.” 

(I weighed 110#’s every morning & 113#’s every night...it was clockwork)…

And I’d say, “Do you have a ship at all, and if you do, does it float?”

And he’d immediately ask me out for Friday night.

Here’s to “Cincinnati Joe”:

Who told me…

A lot of things, and sang me a song, 

and the “Police” should have arrested him for 

“…every game he played…”

Here’s to Edwin Michael Mann:

Who told me…

For Years…

He wanted to marry me, because I was the only female in the whole entire world who ever totally loved and understood him…

And then he up and married someone else…

and made me his “best person” at his wedding.

Here’s to “My Twit” Mark Koontz:                               

Who told me…

That he knew I lost my virginity years ago, 

so it was about time that I became a WOMAN…

Then he gave me: “a good pinch”, 

a ride to a “rainbow”, 

showed me the “ropes”, 

and got me between the “sheets”…

And after, he told me I was the love of his life
Ask me to marry him on New Years Eve…and...

He died two weeks later.

And Here’s to My Daddy, Thomas William Zenoni:

Who called me by my given name once and only once in my life, and…

Who told me…

“Leslie Doreen Zenoni,

I’m going to tell you this once and only once…

When you’re on the road, you pass everybody,

because you never know who’s going to be holding you back 

on those two-laned roads when you get there;

the speed limit is your own.”

And that, "my friend",

you can take to the bank,

But never mention to a police officer if you get pulled over for speeding.