G is for: "Girls & Boys"

This is Dedicated to One of America's Finest

Army Airborne Ranger

Chad Davis

Isn’t it a wonder how the differences between the genders begin at birth?  It’s not the battle of the sexes; it’s not separating the sexes; it’s not the joining of the sexes; it’s understanding the sexes and keeping your sanity at all times.

Both genders loved the walls at our house.  Edie loved to help chose out the décor for them; Emma loved to draw on them.  (Painting was her creative outlet.)  Evan loved to ram them.  (Full speed ahead — car & trains by carpet, airplanes in flight, body slams — the faster the better; wham-mo!)  I took him to the doctor to see what on earth was wrong with him.  I told our pediatrician that the four boys I babysat for did a lot of crazy things, but they never rammed walls.  But Dr. Marc said he was just “All Boy!  No real physical necessary!” 

Both genders loved the gifts our neighbors would leave on the front stoop at our house.  The girls loved the clothes and endless airy of stuffed animals.  The boy loved the old clocks, radios, telephones, and televisions they'd leave for him to tear apart.  Yes, at times, gloves were necessary, but what a great time he had.  He had a special box for his wires & circuits.  By the time he was nine, he began to fix things; his first piece was a clock for Dena.

Both genders love wood.

Girls like driftwood

to decorate. 

Boys like plywood

to construct things.

At a playground we all love to have fun. 

Girls are simply pleased;

they like the “doing stunts” on the swings…

 

or are satisfied with synchronized sliding.

But you can always find a boy

helping the maintenance people repair vital objects…

or digging a deep terrain.

So as you can see, there are differences between girls and boys.

Girls love their babies.

They’ll pamper them by taking them for walks

(outdoors or indoors),

and they’ll hold their toddler tight.

Boys love their bikes and trucks and trains.

They will build their own bike.

They shine their trucks with crackers.

(Well, at least, that’s what he told me!)

They build the most unique ramps for them.

Boys even bring

their trucks and trains and transformers

to bed with them.

If it’s hard plastic or a hardball
you can bet it's cuddling and cozy.

You can always find a girl pampering themselves.

If it doesn’t work the first time…

they do it over again and again…

until they glisten & shine…

like the priceless pearls that they are.

But, if you need to find a boy… 

You never know if...








they’re up a tree,

or between two poles

and heading towards heaven,

 

or climbing a pebble or two.

Here’s the biggest difference of all.  Girls are neat and clean, because they are always making fashion a statement.  They’ll declare themselves a “MESS” if a spot of anything gets on their clothes.

Here’s the expression of females and the laundry: 

the more girls you have,

the more laundry they create

whether or not they have to.   

They change constantly.  Even if you have them set out their clothes the night before school, they change as soon as they wake up in the morning:  Once?  Twice?  Three times?

They change when they get home from school. 

They change to play outdoors. 

They change when they come indoors.

They change after they shower. 

They change before bedtime.

They change

because a little drop of water got on their clothes.

They change because they’ve changed their minds. 

They simply just change.

On the other hand, we have the boys and laundry.  I could always tell when Evan had outdoor recess.  One day, I picked Emma up at school and took her out for lunch.  Most of the time she liked to go see ducks and birds, but this time she decided we would watch/spy on Evan and his friends in the playground.  And although, I didn’t think it was a great idea at the time, because:  I didn’t want to be arrested for stalking; or planning a kidnapping; or the thought that Palatine’s Police department shares the parking lot by their school…But in spite of my indecisiveness, I did it anyway. And boy, o, boy, did I learn a lot!

Boys roll on the ground.  They skid.

They roll some more.  They fall.

They play karate~chop games.  They fall some more.

They run.  They run into walls.  They fall. 

The school nurse calls home

and sends the “head injury” letter with them. 

They don’t care.

They run some more.

They run into poles.  They fall. 

The school nurse calls home

and sends the “head injury” letter along with them. 

And again, they don’t care.

The next day,

They run some more.  They leap.

They leap over one another.  They fall.

They are so injured none of them can get up off the ground.

The school nurse calls all of their parents,

and sends the “head injury” letter along with them.

They don’t care.

They go out the next day they do it all again

and leap some more.

They leap over the low balance beams of life. 

They leap.  They run.  They fall.  They roll.  They skip.  They are on the ground.  Let’s face it, boys are such a mess and their clothes always show it.  What I just don’t quite understand is why aren’t more males in the stunt and or daredevil profession?  So when Evan would come home and got off of the bus, I would ask him either: 

“So, you had indoor recess today, huh?”

(If his clothes were clean.)

or

“So, you had outdoor recess today, huh?”

(If his clothes were dirty.) 

And Evan just never seemed to understand how I knew! 

If I sent my kids out in the backyard or for a walk around the block, my son would divert to the wettest and dirtiest spot in the midst of muddy madness that he could find.  He would gravitate to it; it’s like a magnet, pulling, forcing his positive nature of clean towards the negative of dirty.  Every little boy I’ve had the pleasure to watch is like this.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a potted plant on the deck, or dirt on the ground,

or a puddle in the street,

if it makes for a mess,

it’s a male’s job to make the most of it.

Now when it comes to the subject of boys there’s only one rule of thumb; it doesn’t matter if they’re eight or eighteen, when it comes to the subject of laundry it’s quite simple, and it's the bottom line:

Chad Davis

Always dress boys dirty!

Never send them out in clean clothes!