B is for "Be Careful What You Wish For"

It took years of convincing, but I finally gave in. All Edie's dad had to do was look at me, and I would be barefoot and expecting a whole new global phenomena. I went for a drive from Palatine to Crystal Lake, and got as far as Barrington. I had to pull off of the road completely. I felt like a walking soap opera character; I didn't know who I was, where I was, where I was going, or what I was doing. I had total amnesia augmented and produced by pregnancy. Hey what a scaringly good time that was: figuring out the basics of my being, and not even being intoxicated or high made the drama worse. But one good thing came out of it though, by day's end...I had my first cell phone in my hand, and I joined the box-sized mobile generation. For that reason, I was told not to drive.  And if I did, it was to be a short jaunt to the grocery store.  And if I did that, I had to use a wheelchair, so if I lost my bearings, I was stably seated.  But after the beginning of my fifth month, none of that mattered anymore, because my belly was so big and fat that I had to put the driver’s seat back. When I did that, I couldn’t reach the pedals. I needed to be chauffeured  and wheeled everywhere.

May 1994, was the day that Edie and I got some very interesting, no, astonishing news. We were at the doctor’s office. I saw Dr. Samy that day. She said something on the order of: that my belly measured in excess of the estimated due date that the other doctors gave me; I must be further along than we had thought. So, the ultrasound technician was at the office and I should have a sonogram now.  

And the next thing Edie and I knew, the ultrasound technician took the little gadget off my belly, held up two fingers, and she said,

“Twins!”

And all Edie and I couldn't talk, all we did was laugh hysterically. (They call that twin shock.)  When I came to my senses I said, “Be careful what you wish for in the future, Edie, because what you wish for does come true.”

“Then we called Dad.  He said, “O, you girls are funny ones, aren’t you. How long did it take you to think this one up?” After much convincing, telling him their age of 12 ½ weeks and such, he got a pretty big chuckle out of it.  

And I remember lying there and dreaming of the days gone by…

Mirrored images of candlelight were dancing a romance across the walls of wine. As I sipped my Perrier and pleased my palate further with the delicacy of succulent strawberries, the effervescence of trade winds, Frank and Dean, Canon in D, Bolero filled the air.
And thought of what would come to be…

O, will I ever be able to afford the sweet warmth of a bubble bath again? Would I even get in a tub without assistance, shave my legs, tie my own shoes, was I going to become big and awkward. Soon, a ten-minute, no-interruptions shower in the sanctity of my own bathroom will soon be the norm. I’ll be lucky if I’ll ever equate myself with either of the aforementioned marvelous luxuries ever again.  

I really have never asked for much. A relatively modest lifestyle suites me just fine. Health and happiness are at the summit, but, ah yes, a girl can dream, can’t she? If I only had enough money, money, money to not worry about the next mortgage payment (no, I take that back, I’d rather have it paid off), and how to pay the utility bills, and had a new vehicle to drive (also paid off), and could keep my pantry full all of the time, I’d be “sitting pretty in pink.” 
But, do you know what? I don’t think neither a leisurely bath nor a financial ease will ever unfold. So, in a nutshell, I’ll settle for health and happiness, and honestly I will be content. This I have determined because our lives were about to change for eternity.

Then I came back to reality…

         

            Happiness?  At twelve weeks, no one knew that the ability of getting out of bed to go to the bathroom without setting off a multitude of contractions. I wasn't even into my second trimester. I was so scared, I didn't even tell my doctors that was happening. That wasn't happiness; that was isolated torture. 

            Then at fourteen weeks, because I had a nice slow walk on New Buffalo Beach in Michigan with my parents, Edie and her dad, I had contractions that wouldn't stop. My doctors confined me to bed, and as it turned out, for the rest of my pregnancy.

Health? As it turned out, I was not just pregnant, but in a high-risk pregnancy with twins. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. Everything I did I had to think of health? My health was my babies’ health. If I didn’t eat the allotment of proper 1000-calories-a-baby plus calories for myself that the nutritionist told me to, my babies didn’t either. If I didn’t drink eight ounces of water an hour, I would have contractions. If I went a-jogging (that would have been a sight) then I would have contractions and go into labor. If I didn’t get enough rest, then neither did my babies, I would have contractions. Sex? No sex or I would have contractions, no babies, but then I would have no husband. This was the way it was to be for the duration of the pregnancy. Health was everything, because if I want to give birth to healthy babies, I had to do everything I was told.  My children are my world.

Here I am…   growing …in size some more...

                                        

 What a happy time it was. It was the first day of Edie Marie's summer vacation. My parents called and said, "What did you do today, Edie?"

"Well, my dad made a cooler of sandwiches & drinks and brought it upstairs for us to eat during the day. We played cards, and games, and watched soap operas, you know my mom's favorites 'All My Children' & 'One Life to Live', then we napped and watched some more tv.   And then... we went to the hospital; Mum's contractions wouldn't stop."

It was the second day of Edie's summer vacation. My parents called and said, "What did you do today, Edie?"

"Well, my dad made a cooler of sandwiches & drinks and brought it upstairs for us to eat during the day. We played cards, and games, and watched soap operas, you know my mom's favorites 'All My Children' & 'One Life to Live'. O! It was good today! Then we napped and watched some more tv.   And then... we went to the hospital; Mum's contractions wouldn't stop.""

On the third day of Edie's summer vacation. My parents called and said, "What did you do today, Edie?"

"Well, my dad made a cooler of sandwiches & drinks and brought it upstairs for us to eat during the day. We played cards, and games, and watched soap operas, you know my mom's favorites 'All My Children' & 'One Life to Live'. O! We didn't nap long this time. Then we napped and watched a movie.   And then... we went to the hospital; Mum's contractions wouldn't stop for the third time this week.  The nurses now bring me drinks and snacks as soon as they see me."

On day four of summer vacation. My parents showed up unannounced from the other side of the Great lakes. It was determined without our parental concent that Edie Marie would go to Michigan with my parents for the summer, because she didn't need to spend the next three months of being with me in bed watching TV or playing board games or playing cards with no outdoor activities. While I napped (which was a lot) she watched more TV. All in all, it was the best remedy for Edie's health. Her prescription: beaching in Charlevoix and basking in Southfield, caverning in Mammoth. All in all, she had the best dose of medicine to take, didn’t she? The best thing my parents ever did for all of us was this Grandparent Intervention.

This was me at 36 weeks, the night before I had my scheduled c-section.  Edie Marie, my mother-in-law, and my parents joined me and their dad at the hospital the next morning for the birth of Emma & Evan.  I was very relieved to rejoin the world of the unpregnant & uncontractions; I employeed the healing process of empathy, and began to rejoice with the living.  Unbeknowst to me, the fun was just to begin.

 Copyright 1976-2011 Leslie D. Zenoni dba Coloured Pencils