H
is for: "Hydro-Cart Emma"
Once
upon a time, we lived in a rudimentary world.
We never heard of Java or Viagra; if you wanted to watch a video there
was MTV and you had to wait hours to see your favorite but now instant You Tube
flix; and grocery buggies were made for one child, just one. And, my Emma Baby didn't quite reach 318 mph until
four months old.
It
was the mid 1990’s; 1995 to be exact. I
went to the old Jewel-Osco grocery store in Palatine, Illinois. This statement has a lot of meaning to those
who frequented the establishment in the day.
The registers were electric, but didn't scan items; the customer service
area was actually impressive (bigger than a breadbox) which made the patron
feel important; and the parking lot never flooded. (It couldn't because it was situated on a 25
to 35o inclined plane.)
I,
of course, was on my own again ― a single parent,
yet married ― and making my daily jaunt to purchase
peanut butter & jelly for the generations.
It was the dead of winter, and the cold hell I hated. I took my twins to the Jewel-Osco for a few
necessities.
When
I got to the store, I placed my babies of their-then front-facing matching car
seats in the bottom of two separate carts. I did my shopping; actually getting everything
I needed and, believe it or not, didn't forget a thing. I cashed out placed the grocery paper bags in
the top of the buggies, and, in the bottom of the cart, I tossed matching blankets
over each child’s entirety to keep them warm from the cold brisk hells of harm that
the north can inflict on a human.
I
was on my way wavering through and hanging on to my children, pushing one cart
in front of me and pulling one cart behind me.
I had absolutely no clue which child was in which buggy. I didn't care; I came with two babies; I was
leaving with two babies; that was the way it was; that was success like a Hail
Mary in a football game.
We
had a four-door Buick Regal. To make our
lives easier with twins, we were waiting to purchase a new vehicle the upcoming
September for the double-remote-controlled-electric door jobs that were going
to be installed on the new Dodge Grand Caravan.
I didn't get a front spot in the parking lot that day; I was about three spots down
in the parking lot of about 15 to 20 spots per row. When reaching my car, I always leaned the
grocery carts on the upward side of the vehicle in the parking lot way up near
the front of the car. Then, I would grab
my babies first and place them in the Buick before the groceries. I would
proceed to grab a car seat, any car seat, and walk to the downward incline of
the auto and harness that kid in. Simple,
routine, it worked.
This
time, I took the a car seat out of the cart (Baby B as illustrated) on the
upward side of the car, walked around the front
end of the car and
proceeded to buckle in that baby the back seat of the passenger side. While doing so, I felt and heard:
bang, bang, bang, bang!!!!
I
leaped out of the backseat. I looked at
the upper side of the car where Baby A was.
There was nothing, blank, no cart, no baby, no nothing, emptiness, just
air, cold winter air.
All
of a sudden, I heard these incredible glorious tones of glee; I recognized that
tone; it was laughter beyond a roller coaster, higher than the grandiose SheiKra
at Busch Gardens! I turned around, and
there
zzzoomed
my Emma Baby howling like
a hyena in a Hydro-Cart on her way out of here, way beyond my grasp, way down
beyond rescue, and way on her way to dodge cars on Dundee Road!!! I started to run faster than I've ever run in
my life. (Considering I was always
chosen last for the teams growing up, and it wasn't because my last name
started with a “Z”, this was a considerable feat.) You couldn't imagine my lightning speed of 0.2
mph; as some would put it: I was haling
ass. (Seriously, just ask John or Sandy
or George they’ll tell you of my merits.)
Emma was happier than she had ever been in her life heading for
the literal doom of a four-plus-center-turn-laned road. Faster, faster, faster she flew down that 25
to 35o incline parking lot she fled…
When
unexpectedly, like in a movie, out of nowhere appeared a flash, a hero, in a
fire-engine-red pickup truck. A tall handsome
stranger slammed on his brakes, swung his door open, leaped out of the cab, and
grabbed my baby.
I, of course, after I sped up to 0.5 mph, grabbed his face,
kissed him, and offered him money, the first born of my twins, and my groceries. I asked if he’d come home with me. (O! Come on now for a home-cooked meal, but to
my dismay, he laughed and declined!).
And now-a-days That Emma Baby’s favorite place in the world
today is…
O
you guessed it:
Busch
Gardens!
Where
she can
SheiKra
at
the top of her lungs!!!
And Re-Live
Her
Hydro-Cart
Days!
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