H is for: "Hydro-Cart Emma"

H is for:  "Hydro-Cart Emma"

Once upon a time, we lived in a rudimentary world.  We never heard of Java or Viagra; if you wanted to watch a video there was MTV and you had to wait hours to see your favorite but now instant You Tube flix; and grocery buggies were made for one child, just one.  And, my Emma Baby didn't quite reach 318 mph until four months old.

It was the mid 1990’s; 1995 to be exact.  I went to the old Jewel-Osco grocery store in Palatine, Illinois.  This statement has a lot of meaning to those who frequented the establishment in the day.  The registers were electric, but didn't scan items; the customer service area was actually impressive (bigger than a breadbox) which made the patron feel important; and the parking lot never flooded.  (It couldn't  because it was situated on a 25 to 35^o inclined plane.)

I, of course, was on my own again ― a single parent, yet married ― and making my daily jaunt to purchase peanut butter & jelly for the generations.  It was the dead of winter, and the cold hell I hated.  I took my twins to the Jewel-Osco for a few necessities. 

When I got to the store, I placed my babies of their-then front-facing matching car seats in the bottom of two separate carts.  I did my shopping; actually getting everything I needed and, believe it or not, didn't forget a thing.  I cashed out placed the grocery paper bags in the top of the buggies, and, in the bottom of the cart, I tossed matching blankets over each child’s entirety to keep them warm from the cold brisk hells of harm that the north can inflict on a human.

I was on my way wavering through and hanging on to my children, pushing one cart in front of me and pulling one cart behind me.  I had absolutely no clue which child was in which buggy.  I didn't care; I came with two babies; I was leaving with two babies; that was the way it was; that was success like a Hail Mary in a football game.

We had a four-door Buick Regal.  To make our lives easier with twins, we were waiting to purchase a new vehicle the upcoming September for the double-remote-controlled-electric door jobs that were going to be installed on the new Dodge Grand Caravan. 

I didn't get a front spot in the parking lot that day; I was about three spots down in the parking lot of about 15 to 20 spots per row.  When reaching my car, I always leaned the grocery carts on the upward side of the vehicle in the parking lot way up near the front of the car.  Then, I would grab my babies first and place them in the Buick before the groceries. I would proceed to grab a car seat, any car seat, and walk to the downward incline of the auto and harness that kid in.  Simple, routine, it worked.

This time, I took the a car seat out of the cart (Baby B as illustrated) on the upward side of the car, walked around the front

end of the car and proceeded to buckle in that baby the back seat of the passenger side.  While doing so, I felt and heard:

bang, bang, bang, bang!!!!

I leaped out of the backseat.  I looked at the upper side of the car where Baby A was.  There was nothing, blank, no cart, no baby, no nothing, emptiness, just air, cold winter air.

All of a sudden, I heard these incredible glorious tones of glee; I recognized that tone; it was laughter beyond a roller coaster, higher than the grandiose SheiKra at Busch Gardens!  I turned around, and there

zzzoomed

my Emma Baby howling like a hyena in a Hydro-Cart on her way out of here, way beyond my grasp, way down beyond rescue, and way on her way to dodge cars on Dundee Road!!!  I started to run faster than I've ever run in my life.  (Considering I was always chosen last for the teams growing up, and it wasn't because my last name started with a “Z”, this was a considerable feat.)  You couldn't imagine my lightning speed of 0.2 mph; as some would put it:  I was haling ass.  (Seriously, just ask John or Sandy or George they’ll tell you of my merits.)

      Emma was happier than she had ever been in her life heading for the literal doom of a four-plus-center-turn-laned road.  Faster, faster, faster she flew down that 25 to 35^o incline parking lot she fled…  

When unexpectedly, like in a movie, out of nowhere appeared a flash, a hero, in a fire-engine-red pickup truck.  A tall handsome stranger slammed on his brakes, swung his door open, leaped out of the cab, and grabbed my baby. 

      I, of course, after I sped up to 0.5 mph, grabbed his face, kissed him, and offered him money, the first born of my twins, and my groceries.  I asked if he’d come home with me.  (O! Come on now for a home-cooked meal, but to my dismay, he laughed and declined!).

      And now-a-days That Emma Baby’s favorite place in the world today is…

O you guessed it:

Busch Gardens!

Where she can

SheiKra

at the top of her lungs!!!

And Re-Live

Her

Hydro-Cart

Days!